12.7.17

Consequence of shyness | Overcome shyness + increase confidence

how to overcome shyness + tips to get rid of shyness

For a fraction of introverts like me, shyness was a strong part of my character for a very long time. It still is but I don't let it get in the way of what needs to get done. I had trouble speaking openly, loudly and reaching out to people. I experienced the effects of shyness on someone's life and learned that being shy will have nothing but negative consequences for me.. or anyone.

Looking back over the years, being shy really cost me some fun opportunities. Nothing major.. but boy oh boy, wouldn't I have loved to be a part of the debate team or the basketball team in my teens. The older I got, I came to the conclusion that shyness wasn't going to get me anywhere in life. I guess it would be fine if I didn't have goals and dreams that involved interacting with thousands of people but I do!

What shyness can do
  1. Shy people have a tendency to go on dates less often than non-shy people. So, if you're looking to go on successful dates you might want to loosen up a bit.
  2. It makes interacting difficult. This may cause you to miss out on life-changing opportunities.
  3. Shyness may lead to self-doubt. Note that shyness is born from a state of uncertainty and worrying about what other people think.
  4. It makes you appear unassertive and lacking confidence in simple things like interviews and that doesn't ever have a happy end.
  5. In an attempt to appear 'cool' and 'average', shy people have more tendency to overcompensate in social gatherings.
Personality changes and self-improvement takes time. By no means is it an overnight transformation. It requires patience, determination and consistency. They say it takes 21 days to form a new habit but I'm a strong advocate for steadfastness no matter how long it will take to get the desired results.

Here's what you can do to overcome shyness.

  • No one is looking: it's all in your head more than half the time. As a 'used-to-be-shy' person I learnt that when I'm in social gatherings, I don't really care much for what people do or say. I listened to them without judging and never retained specific thoughts in my head about anyone. That's probably how a lot of people feel too. Stop worrying about what people might think of you.. they probably aren't thinking about your actions at all and that doesn't mean they don't regard you as a person.

  • Lights. Camera. Action: confidence is a thing of action and less of the mind. We all harbor some fraction of insecurities on the inside and that's it, keep it on the inside. No one has to know you are terrified of walking alone into a room full of people. It's all in your stride and carriage. Observe, learn, practice and master. That's a way to be confident that no one likes to talk about. Fake it till it you make it.

  • You just have to get out there: look into your hobbies and join a club. Being among people who share common interest with you makes it easier to open up and talk more. Check out this post on how to find your tribe. Connecting with right people will bury your fears of socializing and boost your confidence levels.
Follow these tips to overcome shyness and social anxiety and be more confident in public. Do not force yourself to break out of it overnight but also keep in mind that the cost of shyness can be really steep.





30 comments:

  1. These are some really good tips. I'm not shy myself, but my friends can be, so I'll have to tell them some of these.
    http://sugarcoatedbears.blogspot.com/

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  2. the tips that you gave are really good.

    www.sinclairandserena.tk

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  3. Beautiful post dear,thank you for sharing!
    https://soksfashion.blogspot.ba/

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  4. Thanks for sharing boo!

    xx,
    Chels
    www.chelseaasoflate.com

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  5. Ughh i can relate to some of these haha <3
    Great post :)
    https://lionesssk.blogspot.com/

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  6. Get out there and do it helped me a lot when overcoming shyness. Love this piece and your honesty! Thank for sharing babe. XO, Ellese

    Rock.Paper.Glam.

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad you can relate to this and that you enjoyed reading this.

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  7. This is such a lovely post~

    Vivian | LIVE . IN . LOVE
    IG | @viviyunn_

    ~

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  8. Such a great post! You write lovely!
    xx Nicki
    www.morningelegance.de

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  9. I read this with interest as sometimes shy people can appear aloof or snobbish. Once you get to know them however, it's never the real story. I used to be a massive extrovert but I've calmed down now, I only let myself loose around good friends or after a few wines ;-)
    Thank you for sharing.

    ♥ Paula Shoe Fiend.
    http://shoe-fiend.blogspot.co.nz/

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    Replies
    1. You are very correct about everything you said. It's easy to get called aloof and snobbish. I've been there and it's only because shy people are comfortable only with certain people.

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  10. Amazingly written post and great tips!
    xx Ama

    PHUCKITFASHION

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  11. These are great tips. But more easily said than done if you are shy.
    I have a friend that I have been trying to help who is insanely shy.
    I think the best way is to help them feel comfortable by going out with them places.
    Kiri
    Set to Glow
    http://www.settoglow.com.au

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  12. Very interesting post dear,
    have a nice day!
    Emma
    www.emmalovesfashion.com

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  13. This is such a great post!!
    Thanks for all these reminders and inspiration :D
    Wish you a wonderful week
    Kiss
    xx

    https://thathappymess.com/

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  14. I am not shy, but I can imagine it hinders quite a lot in everyday life.

    Linda, Libra, Loca: Beauty, Baby and Backpacking

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  15. You're so right about all of this! For me, the biggest thing is just to let go of the idea that everyone is always watching. Like, I don't pay attention to that many people, how could they possibly all be looking at me? Thank you for this!!

    xx Pia
    http://gymbagsandjetlags.com

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  16. So cute post, love it!
    The Pink Pineapple
    New post:http://thepinkpineappleblog.blogspot.com/2017/07/swinsuits-in-less-than-100.html

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  17. What a good read. I'm quite the introvert, but I've become a good listener!

    Thanks for the share!
    Jo x
    www.outlanderly.com

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  18. These are such great tips!

    Have an awesome day!
    xx Kris

    https://dreamingofpink.wordpress.com

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  19. Love this photo you posted, with its fantastic shadows and dark green tones—and great notes on instrospection 🔮🙏

    www.patientexplorers.com

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